Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true we’ve been married for 7 years, but calling you a “good man” doesn’t fit. I watch TV to drown out your constant complaints, though that doesn’t help much. I noticed your new haircut, and honestly, you looked more like a girl, but I kept my thoughts to myself as my mom always taught me to say nothing if I can’t say something nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, I was surprised because I stopped eating pork years ago. As for the new silk boxers, the price tag gave me pause, especially since my sister borrowed $50 from me earlier. Despite everything, I still thought we could make it work. But when I hit the lottery for $10 million, I quit my job and booked a trip to Jamaica. When I came home, you were gone. My lawyer says you won’t get anything, so good luck. P.S. My sister Carla was born Carl.