Math Isn’t for Everyone… Little Johnny comes home and says, “Dad, I got an F in math.

Dad asks, “Why? What happened?”

Johnny replies, “Teacher asked, ‘What’s 3 times 2?’ I said 6.”

Dad: “But… that’s right?”
Johnny: “Yeah, but then she asked, ‘What’s 2 times 3?’… I panicked and said, ‘Depends on the mood.’”

And now for a gut-busting Thanksgiving classic…

Every morning, a husband’s alarm clock? His own thunderous fart.
His wife begged him to see a doctor. He refused.

One Thanksgiving, she had a plan.
She snuck turkey giblets into his boxers while he was sleeping.

Minutes later:
One loud toot. One horrified scream. A man sprinting to the bathroom yelling,
“IT FINALLY HAPPENED! I FARTED MY GUTS OUT!”

He came downstairs, pale, sweating, and whispering:
“Don’t worry… I think I got them all back in.”