A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant.

When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!”

His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”

Her husband replied: “That’s at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how to cook.”

A man in New Orleans walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of cabbage.

The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of cabbage.

The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, “Some old stooge outside wants to buy half a head of cabbage.”

As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man had followed and was standing right behind him, so the boy quickly added, “… and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half.”

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The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later, the manager said to the boy, “I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier, we like people who can think on their feet here, where are you from son?”

“Canada, sir.” the boy replied.

“Why did you leave Canada?” the manager asked.

The boy said, “Sir, there’s nothing but pr*stitutes and ice hockey players there.”

“Is that right?” demanded the Manager. “My wife is from Canada!!”

“Really?” replied the boy.

“Who did she play for?”