Blended families can be complicated—especially when money enters the mix. I’m Lisa, 42. I’ve been married to Jeff for 12 years. He has an 18-year-old son from his first marriage, and I have a 14-year-old from mine. Jeff has helped raise my son since he was two, as his biological father—who traveled often—was mostly absent.

Tragically, my ex passed away last week, leaving a significant inheritance for our son. Since he’s still a minor, I’ll manage it until he turns 18.

Then came the blow: Jeff asked me to use some of my son’s inheritance to pay for his own son’s college. I said no. Jeff was furious.

“I treated your kid like mine. Is this how you repay me?” he snapped.
“I’m grateful,” I replied, “but you’re not entitled to his money.”

The next day, he left a list on the table—every dime he spent on my son, from clothes to vacations—despite always saying, “He’s like my own.”

Now, he wants it all back.

I’m torn. I won’t touch my son’s inheritance. But am I being unfair to Jeff and his son?

—Lisa